are you so shy because you have an std?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
