I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize