My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
