I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
