Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
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