She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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