ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I'm getting married
To pizza
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
