I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
Randomize
