I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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