Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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