Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Randomize
