he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
handjob tips. give me some.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
