I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Boobs speak an international language.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize