I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Randomize
