if you like me you must not know who I am
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
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