That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
