Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
There are too many people on this bus for it to be even REMOTELY okay that I'm wearing a puke covered sweater
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
Randomize
