i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
