I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
