You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
