"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Randomize
