This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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