I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
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