just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
