You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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