WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
