Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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