I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I need to calm my uterus...
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
