It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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