I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
