just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
