am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
