their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Randomize
