nut hugger
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
