The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
