have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
