True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Randomize
