Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
So. Much. Porn.
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