so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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