I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize