I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize