I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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