He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Randomize
