STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Soap is not a condiment
I'm eating all of the evidence.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
