New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
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