If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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