Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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