its not stalking. its research.
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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