Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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