I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Randomize
