I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
You smell like stripper and shame
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
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