2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
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