some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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