My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
