Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize
