4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
