You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
